Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 3A215DEB15 for ; Sun, 5 Feb 2006 06:49:57 +1100 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 27944-03 for ; Sun, 5 Feb 2006 06:49:42 +1100 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 150.101.193.82 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=150.101.193.82; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=polyglot.com.au; Received: from polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id E712BDEB14 for ; Sun, 5 Feb 2006 06:49:33 +1100 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211); Sun, 5 Feb 2006 06:49:53 +1100 Thread-Topic: Love is a Battlefield Reply-To: Message-ID: <52b601c629c4$2ab658c0$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcYpxCqzORl4ZmRSS+m0ROaZfrBnfQ== From: To: Subject: Love is a Battlefield Date: Sun, 5 Feb 2006 06:49:53 +1100 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_52B7_01C62A20.5E26D0C0" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.326 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 04 Feb 2006 19:49:53.0371 (UTC) FILETIME=[2AB8A2B0:01C629C4] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_52B7_01C62A20.5E26D0C0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 180 - 6th February,2006 Go to our website Here * Welcome Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Fatherlessness & Family Law Reform Fiasco * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Warwick The time had come. I went to the video store to rent a copy of 'Mr & Mrs Smith' starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. A good friend had recommended it as being a great movie about marriage. I must admit I doubted his sanity when I saw the shorts of the movie at the local cinema. All I could remember were vivid scenes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie firing machine guns and automatic weapons in a destructive bid to kill each other whilst destroying their own house at the same time. The film is rated M with moderate violence, sexual references and course language , enough to make a few alarm bells ring. The fine print on the back of the DVD didn't allay my fears. Describing the movie the slick said, 'After five (or six) years of vanilla 'wedded bliss', ordinary suburbanites John & Jane Smith are stuck in a rut the size of the Grand Canyon until the truth comes out! Unbeknownst to each other, they are both coolly lethal, highly paid assassins working for rival organisations. And when they discover they're each other's next target, their secret lives collide in a spicy, explosive mix of wicked comedy, pent up passion, non-stop action and high tech weaponry that gives an all new meaning to 'Till death do us part!' It struck me that the movie was more a 'shoot-em-up spy thriller' than anything to do with love and marriage. So with all this in mind, I gingerly put the DVD into the player and pressed play. The first scene opens with John and Jane facing direct to camera, talking about their marriage and telling the counsellor (the audience) how they feel about each other. John makes a comment that I'm sure most males would greatly relate to, 'We don't really need to be here.' (Our lives might be falling apart, our marriage on the rocks, but we sure don't want to admit that, in public, to a marriage counsellor or in the company of our wives.) Throughout the movie there are several visits back to that counsellor. John and Jane's comments are incredibly revealing and give a very accurate description of the challenges faced by all married couples. John, "There is a huge space between us and it just keeps getting filled up with everything we don't say to each other." Counsellor (off-screen), "How honest are you with him?" Jane, "It's not like I lie to him or anything. We just have little secrets . . . everybody has secrets!!??" Counsellor, "You probably feel like you are the only one's going through this, but I tell you, there are millions of couples who are experiencing the same problems." Later when John tells his friend, "My wife tried to kill me," his male friend says, "They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly and then wham, they hurt you." Jane's friend's advice is no better. "You'll kill him. No-one's better at that than you are, and then it will be over." After John and Jane's massive shoot out and subsequent interference by their respective organisations (reminiscent of the Family Law Court) we see a classic scene. Husband and wife are lying half dead in the remains of their house; totally destroyed by the 'war' they have been engaged in. The imagery is powerful. 'Marital' war is the most destructive war possible. Firstly it is a betrayal of love and if children are involved, a betrayal of them also. What's this got to do with being a great father? The greatest thing a man can do for his children is to love his wife, the mother of his children. Pretty much every marriage gets into a rut, which often seems to be the size of Megalong Valley. The temptation is to blame the other, and start a war. Once the war begins, it's very hard to end. John makes a comment towards the end of the film when he and Jane join forces to fight their organisations. "This is a crap marriage . . . I'm a mess . . . You're a disaster . . . We are both liars but if you run, you will always be running. I say we stay and finish this thing." Research has shown that, five years on, those who tough out bad marriages mostly end up in good marriages, while divorced couples who remarry usually wish they were back with their original partner. Marriage is a mystery. Children are born out of that mystery. Children need the love from that mystery to survive. Never give up on the mystery of love. Lovework Rehearse these lines together with the love of your life over a candlelit dinner for two. 'There is no place I would rather be than right here with you.' To set the scene, get hold of Pat Benatar's song, 'Love is a Battlefield' and play it softly in the background. Imagine this, John and Jane Smith are fighting a battle against the forces that are trying to destroy them and their marriage. It seems like all is lost and they are about to die. John says, 'There is no place I would rather be than right here with you.' As the guy in the Bugs Bunny cartoon said, 'Them are foighting woids.' Yours for the Battlefield of Love Warwick Marsh PS It is sad to think that the proposed family law reform is not actively discouraging divorce by introducing the presumption of shared parenting. We should be following in the footsteps of the American government which has just approved $500 million to prevent divorce and strengthen marriage and a further $250 million to promote responsible fathering. As Bob Dylan sang, 'When will we ever learn?' ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads A Gentleman is a gentle man Unknown back to top Laughter You Think you're Having a Bad Day!! The following was taken from a Florida newspaper A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped on to the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife up-righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that petrol had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some paper towels, blotted up the petrol and threw the paper towels into the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband onto the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the steps to the street, accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how her husband had burned himself. She told them, and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his leg! Now that is a bad day! back to top Single Dads Battered Fathers by Tony Miller Tonight I am sitting here, disgusted with a system that seems to have let dads down. I took my son to the movies on the weekend and was confronted by an advertisement denigrating men, portraying us all as domestic violence abusers. I wondered what my 10 year old son thought as he saw the images on the screen. I felt wounded. I felt denigrated. I am a dad in distress. I never lifted a hand to my ex-wife. I am simply a dad who is divorced. Yet I am portrayed as a male and an abuser. Time and time again on television, on radio, at the movies, in the papers, we are all labelled as abusers. I shrank in my seat, embarrassed to be a man, to be a dad. My 10 year old son was in the audience, some of his friends were there. I felt like screaming out HOLD ON, we are not all abusers. I wonder what would happen if we were to put out ads that portrayed women as the abusers. Oh no, I hear you say, that just couldn't happen. Well it does. And it happens to an extent that you haven't heard of yet. Simply, because we cop emotional and physical abuse and unfortunately we keep it to ourselves. Why, because who's going to listen. You're a man, remember the "John Wayne Theory". I can handle anything. I'm a man. Well let me tell you, we are fed up with having to conceal the hurt, the pain. We are fed up with being made the scapegoats to women whose only concern is to keep our children away from us, for no other benefit but financial and inflicting more pain.(a women scorned). When are you going to wake up? The way forward is not to denigrate fatherhood but rejoice in it. Give dads a fair go. No one denies that there are those among us that shouldn't have been married in the first place. But it carries to both sides of the fence. Are you blind? Have you never seen a women perpetrate violence upon a man? Or do you just not have the guts to admit that this happens? Are you living a fairytale? We at 'dids' abhor violence in any form, but I wonder what my son thinks. Is it that it's wrong to hit a women but it's ok if a women hits you. Hey you're a man. You're expected to take it. Don't lift a hand in self defence, lest you be labelled an abuser. No-one has the guts to talk about it because you are labelled a wimp. Real men will shun you. The courts of this land will strip you of your fatherhood. You have nowhere to go. And guess what, it doesn't even need to be proven. You're a condemned man just on the say so of the other party. You're guilty to proven innocent. We see guys every day in our meetings who have suffered abuse, and I'm telling you, they don't just walk in they crawl in. It takes a lot of guts for a guy to admit to other men that HE was the one who was being abused. No one wants to talk about that. Why? Simply because you should be able to handle that, you're a man. Well it's about time we did talk about it. I have seen guys come into meetings often needing medical attention from a battering from their wives, where they have not lifted a finger in self defence, just copped it and who just don't know what to do. What are we teaching our children? Any self respecting father would teach his kids that it's wrong to hit a women or anyone else for that matter, but hopefully we would also teach our kids that they need not suffer abuse in silence themselves. We all have rights and often those rights are clouded in the hysteria of pointing the finger, usually these days at the male of the species. If only part of the 20 million dollars or so spent on the anti-violence campaign was spent on RELATIONSHIP training in our schools for both our male and female children, maybe, just maybe we wouldn't be in the mess we are now in. Tony Miller dids dids@nor.com.au back to top Fatherlessness & Family Law Reform Fiasco Fatherlessness and The Family Law Reform Fiasco Part 2 by Warwick Marsh The promised Family Law Reform by the Federal Government could be another case of re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, instead of plugging the leak to stop the ship going down. Many of the reform proposals, such as the Family Relationship Centres, are well intentioned, but unless they solve the fundamental problem they really become another layer of bureaucracy to waste taxpayer?s money . . . Part 2 Importantly, the studies that have sought the views of children document that equal time with their parents is what most children want. Everything known about the children of divorce and their needs tell us that it is in their best interests to maximize the involvement of both parents for the benefit of the child. Where both parents seek to continue their role as parents, the court should reduce neither parent to a mere visitor, unless the other parent comes forward with a compelling reason to do so. It would be wonderful if the government would consider not only the wishes of Australian children but of the voting public. In recent polls the concept of shared parenting received between 91% (Insight Poll) and 82% (Channel Nine Poll) support. In a federal poll in early 2004 Family Law Reform and Child Custody was the number one issue, outpolling Medicare by over six times. The Australian public have a deep sense of unease about the Federal Government's handling of the process of Family Law Reform. This unease is born out by social worker, Matilda Bawden, who says of the committee who are establishing the counselling competencies for the Federal Government's Family Relationship Centres. 'There is almost no father-friendly representation on this committee and certainly no evidence to show it is sympathetic to genuine shared parenting or joint residency outcomes or ideals.' The Family Relationship Centres, which are supposed to be working towards shared parenting outcomes, will be staffed by counsellors who know nothing about shared parenting. It is a little like Einstein's definition of insanity, 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'. Australia's most pressing reason for Family Law Reform is to turn the tide of family breakdown, which will in turn lower the divorce rate. According to American researchers John Guidubaldi and Richard Kuhn divorce rates in USA declined nearly four times faster in high joint custody states compared with states where joint physical custody was rare. As a result, the states with high levels of joint custody now have significantly lower divorce rates on average than other states. The real reason the Titanic is sinking is because we have refused to put a premium on marriage. Dr Wade Horn, author of 'The Fatherhood Movement: A Call for Action' said, "The best prevention for fatherlessness is building strong healthy marriages." Unless Family Law Reform works towards preventing divorce in the first place it will continue to be a 'Clayton' style of reform. Waleed Aly, a lawyer and former legal associate to a family court judge, said about the recent proposed changes to Family Law Reform, 'It is more a mirage than a breakthrough.' Unless Australia deals with the fundamental problem, which is the continuing high rate of family breakdown, and puts a premium on marriage, the Family Law Reform fiasco will continue. Until the Government gives a firm direction to the Family Law Court, that a presumption of equal parenting must be the starting point for all divorcing couples, re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic will continue to be our primary occupation. Warwick Marsh is the founder of the Fatherhood Foundation based in Wollongong, NSW. The Fatherhood Foundation is a harm prevention charity whose main goal is to inspire fathers and renew families: www.fathersonline.org back to top Thought of the Week There is no place I'd rather be than right here with you. John Smith (Brad Pitt) in the movie Mr & Mrs Smith back to top All You Need is Love Love is a Battlefield We are young, heartache to heartache we stand No promises, no demands Love is a battlefield We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing Love is a battlefield You're beggin' me to go, you're makin' me stay Why do you hurt me so bad? It would help me to know Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing you've had? Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why But I'm trapped by your love, and I'm chained to your side We are young, heartache to heartache we stand No promises, no demands Love is a battlefield We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing Love is a battlefield We're losing control Will you turn me away or touch me deep inside? And before this gets old, will it still feel the same? There's no way this will die But if we get much closer, I could lose control And if your heart surrenders, you'll need me to hold We are young, heartache to heartache we stand No promises, no demands Love is a battlefield We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing Love is a battlefield We are young, heartache to heartache we stand No promises, no demands Love is a battlefield We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing Love is a battlefield Written by: Mike Chapman & Holly Knight _________________________________________________________ The Language of Opposite Meanings Here is a definition of the Language of Opposite Meanings: 'When one partner says something, the other partner often hears the opposite meaning.' When she is nagging you and criticising you , when everything you do is wrong' she is actually saying 'I don't trust that you care for me and protect me. Please care for me and love me. I love you.' The male, however, usually hears: 'You are hopeless. You are not a good husband/boyfriend/lover. I really made a mistake picking you. I don't love you.' He in turn, unable to take the pain of the woman he loves attacking him, retreats, into the garage, down to the club, behind the newspaper, or into the office, immersing himself in work and career or taking a second job. By his retreat he is telling her in male language that he loves her and needs to feel loved, but she gets the opposite message. She feels as though he is pushing her away. So while both of you are saying 'I love you and want you to love me' each is getting the message from the other 'I don't care about you.' (This is an extract from Man Overboard.) Free Offer of E-Book for Fathersonline Subscribers 'Man Overboard' by Michael Kiely is a breakthrough book, designed to help men rescue and renew their marriage relationships. Michael has been married for over 30 years, has three children and a background in business and marketing. He shares with his readers how he rescued his own marriage when it went into crisis mode. 'Man Overboard' is short (100 pages), filled with headlines, valuable insights and quotations and doesn't beat around the bush. Warwick Marsh, founder of the 'Fatherhood Foundation' says, 'Every man should read this book if he is serious about staying married. It is easy to fall in love, but you have to fight to stay in love. Michael Kiely's book will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction. 'Man Overboard' will help to keep the 'love fires' burning, but beware, this book is only for the brave. The fainthearted should not read this book.! To get your free copy of 'Man Overboard' (normally over $20), simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line. Don't miss out. This offer will not last. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge back to top News & Info _____________________________ Marriage & Family Seminar 17 - 18th February 2006 This nation rides or falls on families. How we respond to relationship issues is crucial. Whatever your status we all need God given instruction. This unique seminar will help you communicate within families, workplaces, the wider Body of Christ. For singles, couples and families. Speakers: Michael & Alison Goode - Families For Life Australia Warwick Marsh - Fatherhood Foundation Bill Muehlenberg - Family Council of Victoria Danny Nalliah - Catch the Fire Ministries To register your interest in attendance please phone: 9am - 5pm Catch The Fire Ministries Inc. PO Box 7427, Dandenong Vic 3175 Email: inquiries@catchthefire.com.au Phone (03) 9794 8211 Fax (03) 9794 9311 www.catchthefire.com.au __________________________________________________________ BOYS ONLY CLASSES FOR CRUCIAL YEARS Libs high school plan By Jemma Chapman, South Australian Advertiser February 1st, 2006 Boys would be put into single-sex classes in public high schools as part of a radical 'men's policy' pledged by the Liberal Party. In the lead-up to next month's state election, the Opposition has vowed to introduce boys-only state school classes for Years 8, 9 and 10 in the core subjects of English, maths and science as part of a broad policy to "rebalance the agenda" between men's and women's issues. The plan is aimed at improving male student performances and encouraging boys to stay at school longer. Boys-only classes would include longer and more frequent "activity breaks" and the curriculum would be altered to make it more appealing to boys, with a greater emphasis on sport and physical activities. The Liberals' plan also includes: A feasibility study into setting up a boys' public high school, similar to the Mitcham and Gepps Cross girls' schools. Retraining school counsellors to direct them to encourage boys to consider teaching careers to increase the number of male primary teachers. Redirecting funding from some women's groups to services for men. A campaign to encourage male victims of domestic violence to "come out from the cloak of secrecy" and seek help. Revealing details of the policy to The Advertiser yesterday, Opposition families and communities spokeswoman Isobel Redmond said she believed affirmative action to improve the rights of women had "done the job that it's meant to do". "Do I think women are still downtrodden? No," she said. "I think women today have as much opportunity as any male and in fact what we are doing at the moment is the sting in the tail. "When we get to the point where a female is getting the job because she's female and not the best person, I think that is demeaning for the female and unfair to the male. We should be gender-neutral". Liberal Leader Rob Kerin said there were growing areas in which men fared "significantly worse" than women, including health and education. "Without wanting to turn the clock back to the unfairness of days gone by when women lacked equality, it is time to recognise and address areas in which males are falling behind," he said. Opposition education spokeswoman Vickie Chapman said the boys-only classes would not require extra teachers and would be introduced into schools where student numbers permitted. They would be for such "core" subjects as English, maths and science. Ms Chapman said a school with three Year 10 classes, for example, could have one boys-only class and two mixed classes. "At the moment, we are providing a generic curriculum and . . . there are aspects that are clearly more interesting to boys," Ms Chapman said. "We (also) want to trial a change of school timetable to include more activity breaks in the boys-only classes." Education Minister Jane Lomax-Smith said the boys-only classes proposal, could increase class sizes. "The reality is that high schools do not have even numbers of boys and girls in each year level," she said. "The Opposition spokesperson needs to explain how this half-baked and ill-conceived idea would work in SA schools with no extra teachers. This is just a ploy by the Liberals to take local control from schools and impose political ideology in the classroom. "Labor's approach is to invest in more teachers, smaller class sizes and support for the individual needs of each child, irrespective of their gender." Families and Communities Minister Jay Weatherill ridiculed the policy. "It's a really destructive way of handling a public policy debate to set up a conflict between men and women and it really demonstrates a desperation in the Opposition," he said. http://www.theadvertiser.news.com.au/sectionindex2/0,5935,editorialopini on%255E%255ETEXT,00.html ________________________________________________________________________ _____ EDITORIAL OPINION Liberals touch a gender nerve FOR perhaps the first time in the run-up to the March 18 state election, the Liberals have taken a risk. Their plan to create special boys' classes - financed by reducing funds to women's support groups - defies the perceived demands of gender equality. The reality, however, is that in the past decade, female students have been outperforming boys. Girls have demonstrated superior academic and social skills and a greater capacity to succeed in tertiary education and the workforce. The Liberals also believe boys are more reluctant to speak openly, for example by reporting incidents of domestic violence. The Liberals are not arguing for increased affirmative action for boys as much as an overall reduction in targeted programs so that all young people are treated equally. The policy is certain to attract the anger of women's groups, particularly if funding is redirected. But it also will generate community debate and force the Government to consider its current leaning towards affirmative action for women. For more information on these exciting developments please contact: Greg Andresen Committee Member, Men's Information and Support Centre Torrens Building, 220 Victoria Square, Adelaide SA 5000 Tel: 08 8212 0331 Mobile: 0403 813 925 Fax: 08 8231 1752 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * FEDS TURN EYE TO HEALTHY MARRIAGES USA Today February 2, 2006 By Sharon Jayson Congress approved a $750 million, five-year plan aimed at building healthier marriages Wednesday as part of its deficit reduction bill. The measure now goes to President Bush. It includes $100 million a year for marriage-related programs and $50 million a year for fatherhood programs. This is the first time Congress has earmarked money for marriage programs, says Ron Haskins of the Brookings Institution's Center on Children and Families. Federal grants to local groups will fund programs such as communication and relationship skills training or community-wide activities for high schoolers. Bush has backed marriage-strengthening efforts, citing research that children from two-parent families are better off emotionally, socially and economically. "Ultimately, the outcome we're interested in is not more marriages but more healthy and stable marriages," says Wade Horn, an assistant secretary for Children and Families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Researcher and marriage author Stephanie Coontz of Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., says marriage-education programs are successful in "weeding out" couples who shouldn't marry but can't solve all the problems low-income couples face. "There is a lot of wishful thinking going on if you just do this and ignore other issues impacting marriage and parenting," she says. But Diane Sollee, founder of SmartMarriages.com, says more programs will help. "People are going to learn behaviors that predict marital success," she says. "They're not funding a matchmaking service." www.smartmarriages.com * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Monthly ezine on men's health available 'emale' Men's Health and Wellbeing E Bulletin Issue 37 February 2006 Australia's largest free monthly men's health and wellbeing e bulletin 'emale' is produced by Greg Millan, Men's Health Consultant. Greg provides both professional training courses in best practice in men's health and programs for men in the community that improve men's health and wellbeing. The current month's issue is attached, if you would like to receive your own copy of 'emale' every month, simply send a return email asking to subscribe. E gmillan@bigpond.net.au M 0417 772 390 Postal PO Box 953 HAMILTON NSW AUSTRALIA 2303 * * * * * * * * * * * * HAPPY MARRIAGE CAN MAKE YOU LOOK YOUNGER United Press International January 30, 2006 COPENHAGEN, Denmark, Jan 30, 2006 (UPI via COMTEX) -- Danish researchers say a happy marriage and plenty of money can take years off of a person's appearance. The study, conducted by the University of Southern Demark, found that a married woman with a high social status, who has not spent a lot of time in the sun, could look at least seven years younger than a woman who is single, of a low social class and has spent excessive time soaking up harmful rays, the Daily Mail reported. A happy marriage can make a woman look almost two years younger by the time she reaches middle age. Marital harmony can make men, in turn, look up to a year younger. Heavy drinking was found to put a year on the faces of both sexes along with chronic asthma, diabetes and regularly taking painkillers. Over-exposure to the sun was seen to add 1.3 years to a woman's perceived age while depression made women look 3.9 years older and men 2.4 years older. Perhaps surprisingly, smoking 20 cigarettes a day for 20 years was found to add only a year of extra wrinkles to men and half that to women. _________________________________________________________ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation The following was a sign shown on Channel 9 One Day Cricket coverage from the game played at Perth on Sunday, Cost to get to Ground - $15 Admission to the game - $58 Being at the cricket with my Dad - Priceless Regards Merv Langford back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God When will we ever learn? We are spending hundreds of millions of dollars to shore up a corrupt family law system, when we should be spending hundreds of millions of dollars to support healthy marriages, to stop them falling into the war zone in the first place. When wars start, they are very hard to stop. Dear God Help us come to our senses, and at the very least provide justice for our children. back to top About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! Mission Statement The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. 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Issue 180 - 6th February,2006 Go to our website Here


Welcome Warwick

The time had come.  I went to the video store to rent a copy of 'Mr & Mrs Smith' starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. A good friend had recommended it as being a great movie about marriage.  I must admit I doubted his sanity when I saw the shorts of the movie at the local cinema.  All I could remember were vivid scenes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie firing machine guns and automatic weapons in a destructive bid to kill each other whilst destroying their own house at the same time. The film is rated M with moderate violence, sexual references and course languag e , enough to make a few alarm bells ring. The fine print on the back of the DVD didn't allay my fears.  Describing the movie the slick said, 'After five (or six) years of vanilla 'wedded bliss', ordinary suburbanites John & Jane Smith are stuck in a rut the size of the Grand Canyon until the truth comes out! Unbeknownst to each other, they are both coolly lethal, highly paid assassins working for rival organisations. And when they discover they're each other's next target, their secret lives collide in a spicy, explosive mix of wicked comedy, pent up passion, non-stop action and high tech weaponry that gives an all new meaning to 'Till death do us part!'  It struck me that the movie was more a 'shoot-em-up spy thriller' than anything to do with love and marriage.  So with all this in mind, I gingerly put the DVD into the player and pre ssed play.

 

The first scene opens with John and Jane facing direct to camera, talking about their marriage and telling the counsellor (the audience) how they feel about each other.  John makes a comment that I'm sure most males would greatly relate to, 'We don't really need to be here.'  (Our lives might be falling apart, our marriage on the rocks, but we sure don't want to admit that, in public, to a marriage counsellor or in the company of our wives.)  Throughout the movie there are several visits back to that counsellor. John and Jane's comments are incredibly revealing and give a very accurate description of the challenges faced by all married couples. 

 

John, "There is a huge space between us and it just keeps getting filled up with everything we don't say to each other."

 

Counsellor (off-screen), "How honest are you with him?"

 

Jane, "It's not like I lie to him or anything. We just have little secrets . . . everybody has secrets!!??"

 

Counsellor, "You probably feel like you are the only one's going through this, but I tell you, there are millions of couples who are experiencing the same problems."

 

Later when John tells his friend, "My wife tried to kill me," his male friend says, "They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly and then wham, they hurt you."  Jane's friend's advice is no better. "You'll kill him.  No-one's better at that than you are, and then it will be over."

 

After John and Jane's massive shoot out and subsequent interference by their respective organisations (reminiscent of the Family Law Court) we see a classic scene. Husband and wife are lying half dead in the remains of their house; totally destroyed by the 'war' they have been engaged in.  The imagery is powerful. 'Marital' war is the most destructive war possible.  Firstly it is a betrayal of love and if children are involved, a betrayal of them also.< /FONT>

 

What's this got to do with being a great father?

 

The greatest thing a man can do for his children is to love his wife, the mother of his children.  Pretty much every marriage gets into a rut, which often seems to be the size of Megalong Valley.  The temptation is to blame the other, and start a war.  Once the war begins, it's very hard to end.

 

John makes a comment towards the end of the film when he and Jane join forces to fight their organisations.  "This is a crap marriage . . . I'm a mess . . . You're a disaster . . . We are both liars but if you run, you will always be running.  I say we stay and finish this thing."

 

Research has shown that, five years on, those who tough out bad marriages mostly end up in good marriages, while divorced couples who remarry usually wish they were back with their original partner.  Marriage is a mystery.  Children are born out of that mystery.  Children need the love from that mystery to survive.  Never give up on the mystery of love.

 

Lovework

 

Rehearse these lines together with the love of your life over a candlelit dinner for two.

 

'There is no place I would rather be than right here with you.'

 

To set the scene, get hold of Pat Benatar's song, 'Love is a Battlefield' and play it softly in the background.

 

Imagine this, John and Jane Smith are fighting a battle against the forces that are trying to destroy them and their marriage.  It seems like all is lost and they are about to die.  John says, 'There is no place I would rather be than right here with you.'  As the guy in the Bugs Bunny cartoon said, 'Them are foighting woids.'

 

Yours for the Battlefield of Love

Warwick Marsh

 

PS  It is sad to think that the proposed family law reform is not actively discouraging divorce by introducing the presumption of shared parenting.  We should be following in the footsteps of the American government which has just approved $500 million to prevent divorce and strengthen marriage and a further $250 million to promote responsible fathering.  As Bob Dylan sang, 'When will we ever learn?'

 

 ________________________________________


Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

A Gentleman

is a gentle man

 

Unknown

 

 

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Laughter

You Think you're Having a Bad Day!!

The following was taken from a Florida newspaper

 

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen.  The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow the motorcycle slipped into gear.  The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped on to the floor inside the house.

 

The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle next to him and the patio door shattered.  The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.  Because they lived on a fairly large hill the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband.

 

After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife up-righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.  Seeing that petrol had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some paper towels, blotted up the petrol and threw the paper towels into the toilet.

 

The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home.

 

After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.  He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette.  After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. 

 

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor.  His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin.  The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.  The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street.  The paramedics loaded the husband onto the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the steps to the street, accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how her husband had burned himself.

 

She told them, and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out.  He fell down the remaining steps and broke his leg!

 

Now that is a bad day!

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Single Dads

Battered Fathers

by Tony Miller

 

Tonight I am sitting here, disgusted with a system that seems to have let dads down. I took my son to the movies on the weekend and was confronted by an advertisement denigrating men, portraying us all as domestic violence abusers. I wondered what my 10 year old son thought as he saw the images on the screen. I felt wounded. I felt denigrated. I am a dad in distress. I never lifted a hand to my ex-wife. I am simply a dad who is divorced. Yet I am portrayed as a male and an abuser. Time and time again on television, on radio, at the movies, in the papers, we are all labelled as abusers. I shrank in my seat, embarrassed to be a man, to be a dad. My 10 year old son was in the audience, some of his friends were there.

 

I felt like screaming out HOLD ON, we are not all abusers. I wonder what would happen if we were to put out ads that portrayed women as the abusers. Oh no, I hear you say, that just couldn't happen. Well it does. And it happens to an extent that you haven't heard of yet. Simply, because we cop emotional and physical abuse and unfortunately we keep it to ourselves. Why, because who's going to listen. You're a man, remember the "John Wayne Theory". I can handle anything. I'm a man. Well let me tell you, we are fed up with having to conceal the hurt, the pain. We are fed up with being made the scapegoats to women whose only concern is to keep our children away from us, for no other benefit but financial and inflicting more pain.(a women scorned).

 

When are you going to wake up? The way forward is not to denigrate fatherhood but rejoice in it. Give dads a fair go. No one denies that there are those among us that shouldn't have been married in the first place. But it carries to both sides of the fence. Are you blind? Have you never seen a women perpetrate violence upon a man? Or do you just not have the guts to admit that this happens? Are you living a fairytale?

 

We at 'dids' abhor violence in any form, but I wonder what my son thinks. Is it that it's wrong to hit a women but it's ok if a women hits you. Hey you're a man. You're expected to take it. Don't lift a hand in self defence, lest you be labelled an abuser. No-one has the guts to talk about it because you are labelled a wimp. Real men will shun you.  The courts of this land will strip you of your fatherhood. You have nowhere to go. And guess what, it doesn't even need to be proven. You're a condemned man just on the say so of the other party. You're guilty to proven innocent.

 

We see guys every day in our meetings who have suffered abuse, and I'm telling you, they don't just walk in they crawl in. It takes a lot of guts for a guy to admit to other men that HE was the one who was being abused. No one wants to talk about that. Why? Simply because you should be able to handle that, you're a man. Well it's about time we did talk about it. I have seen guys come into meetings often needing medical attention from a battering from their wives, where they have not lifted a finger in self defence, just copped it and who just don't know what to do.

 

What are we teaching our children? Any self respecting father would teach his kids that it's wrong to hit a women or anyone else for that matter, but hopefully we would also teach our kids that they need not suffer abuse in silence themselves. We all have rights and often those rights are clouded in the hysteria of pointing the finger, usually these days at the male of the species. If only part of the 20 million dollars or so spent on the anti-violence campaign was spent on RELATIONSHIP training in our schools for both our male and female children, maybe, just maybe we wouldn't be in the mess we are now in.

 

Tony Miller dids

dids@nor.com.au

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Fatherlessness & Family Law Reform Fiasco

Fatherlessness and

The Family Law Reform Fiasco

Part 2 by Warwick Marsh

 

The promised Family Law Reform by the Federal Government could be another case of re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, instead of plugging the leak to stop the ship going down.  Many of the reform proposals, such as the Family Relationship Centres, are well intentioned, but unless they solve the fundamental problem they really become another layer of bureaucracy to waste taxpayer?s money . . .

 

Part 2

 

Importantly, the studies that have sought the views of children document that equal time with their parents is what most children want. Everything known about the children of divorce and their needs tell us that it is in their best interests to maximize the involvement of both parents for the benefit of the child. Where both parents seek to continue their role as parents, the court should reduce neither parent to a mere visitor, unless the other parent comes forward with a compelling reason to do so.

 

It would be wonderful if the government would consider not only the wishes of Australian children but of the voting public.  In recent polls the concept of shared parenting received between 91% (Insight Poll) and 82% (Channel Nine Poll) support.  In a federal poll in early 2004 Family Law Reform and Child Custody was the number one issue, outpolling Medicare by over six times.

 

The Australian public have a deep sense of unease about the Federal Government's handling of the process of Family Law Reform.  This unease is born out by social worker, Matilda Bawden, who says of the committee who are establishing the counselling competencies for the Federal Government's Family Relationship Centres.  'There is almost no father-friendly representation on this committee and certainly no evidence to show it is sympathetic to genuine shared parenting or joint residency outcomes or ideals.' The Family Relationship Centres, which are supposed to be working towards shared parenting outcomes, will be staffed by counsellors who know nothing about shared parenting.  It is a little like Einstein's definition of insanity, ' doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'.

 

Australia's most pressing reason for Family Law Reform is to turn the tide of family breakdown, which will in turn lower the divorce rate.  According to American researchers John Guidubaldi and Richard Kuhn divorce rates in USA declined nearly four times faster in high joint custody states compared with states where joint physical custody was rare.  As a result, the states with high levels of joint custody now have significantly lower divorce rates on average than other states.  The real reason the Titanic is sinking is beca use we have refused to put a premium on marriage.  Dr Wade Horn, author of 'The Fatherhood Movement: A Call for Action' said, "The best prevention for fatherlessness is building strong healthy marriages." Unless Family Law Reform works towards preventing divorce in the first place it will continue to be a 'Clayton' style of reform.  Waleed Aly, a lawyer and former legal associate to a family court judge, said about the recent proposed changes to Family Law Reform, 'It is more a mirage than a breakthrough.'

 

Unless Australia deals with the fundamental problem, which is the continuing high rate of family breakdown, and puts a premium on marriage, the Family Law Reform fiasco will continue.  Until the Government gives a firm direction to the Family Law Court, that a presumption of equal parenting must be the starting point for all divorcing couples, re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic will continue to be our primary occupation. 

 

Warwick Marsh is the founder of the Fatherhood Foundation based in Wollongong, NSW.  The Fatherhood Foundation is a harm prevention charity whose main goal is to inspire fathers and renew families: www.fathersonline.org   

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Thought of the Week

 

 

There is no place I'd rather be

than right here with you.

 

 

John Smith (Brad Pitt) in the movie

Mr & Mrs Smith
 

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All You Need is Love




Love is a Battlefield

 

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand

No promises, no demands

Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong

Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing

Love is a battlefield

 

You're beggin' me to go, you're makin' me stay

Why do you hurt me so bad?

It would help me to know

Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing you've had?

Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why

But I'm trapped by your love, and I'm chained to your side

 

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand

No promises, no demands

Love is a battlefield

 

We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong

Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing

Love is a battlefield

 

We're losing control

Will you turn me away or touch me deep inside?

And before this gets old, will it still feel the same?

There's no way this will die

But if we get much closer, I could lose control

And if your heart surrenders, you'll need me to hold

 

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand

No promises, no demands

Love is a battlefield

 

We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong

Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing

Love is a battlefield

 

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand

No promises, no demands

Love is a battlefield

 

We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong

Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing

Love is a battlefield

 

Written by: Mike Chapman & Holly Knight

_________________________________________________________

 

The Language of Opposite Meanings

Here is a definition of the Language of Opposite Meanings: 'When one partner says something, the other partner often hears the opposite meaning.'

 

When she is nagging you and criticising you , when everything you do is wrong' she is actually saying 'I don't trust that you care for me and protect me. Please care for me and love me. I love you.' The male, however, usually hears: 'You are hopeless. You are not a good husband/boyfriend/lover. I really made a mistake picking you. I don't love you.' He in turn, unable to take the pain of the woman he loves attacking him, retreats, into the garage, down to the club, behind the newspaper, or into the office, immersing himself in work and career or taking a second job. By his retreat he is telling her in male language that he loves her and needs to feel loved, but she gets the opposite message. She feels as though he is pushing her away.

 

So while both of you are saying 'I love you and want you to love me' each is getting the message from the other 'I don't care about you.'

 

(This is an extract from Man Overboard.)

Free Offer of E-Book for Fathersonline Subscribers

 

'Man Overboard' by Michael Kiely is a breakthrough book, designed to help men rescue and renew their marriage relationships.  Michael has been married for over 30 years, has three children and a background in business and marketing.  He shares with his readers how he rescued his own marriage when it went into crisis mode.  'Man Overboard' is short (100 pages), filled with headlines, valuable insights and quotations and doesn't beat around the bush.  Warwick Marsh, founder of the 'Fatherhood Foundation' says, 'Every man should read this book if he is serious about staying married.  It is easy to fall in love, but you have to fight to stay in love.  Michael Kiely's book will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction.  'Man Overboard' will help to keep the 'love fires' burning, but beware, this book is only for the brave.  The fainthearted should not read this book.!

 

To get your free copy of 'Man Overboard' (normally over $20), simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com   with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line.

 

Don't miss out.  This offer will not last.  Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge 

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News & Info

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_____________________________

 

Marriage & Family Seminar

 

17 - 18th February 2006

 

This nation rides or falls on families. How we respond to relationship issues is crucial. Whatever your status we all need God given instruction. This unique seminar will help you communicate within families, workplaces, the wider Body of Christ. For singles, couples and families.

 

Speakers:

Michael & Alison Goode - Families For Life Australia

Warwick Marsh - Fatherhood Foundation

Bill Muehlenberg - Family Council of Victoria

Danny Nalliah - Catch the Fire Ministries

 

To register your interest in attendance please phone: 9am - 5pm

Catch The Fire Ministries Inc.

PO Box 7427, Dandenong Vic 3175

Email: inquiries@catchthefire.com.au

Phone (03) 9794 8211 Fax (03) 9794 9311

www.catchthefire.com.au

__________________________________________________________
 

 

 

BOYS ONLY CLASSES FOR CRUCIAL YEARS

Libs high school plan

By Jemma Chapman, South Australian Advertiser

February 1st, 2006

 

Boys would be put into single-sex classes in public high schools as part of a radical 'men's policy' pledged by the Liberal Party.

In the lead-up to next month's state election, the Opposition has vowed to introduce boys-only state school classes for Years 8, 9 and 10 in the core subjects of English, maths and science as part of a broad policy to "rebalance the agenda" between men's and women's issues.

The plan is aimed at improving male student performances and encouraging boys to stay at school longer.

Boys-only classes would include longer and more frequent "activity breaks" and the curriculum would be altered to make it more appealing to boys, with a greater emphasis on sport and physical activities.

The Liberals' plan also includes:

A feasibility study into setting up a boys' public high school, similar to the Mitcham and Gepps Cross girls' schools.

Retraining school counsellors to direct them to encourage boys to consider teaching careers to increase the number of male primary teachers.

Redirecting funding from some women's groups to services for men.

A campaign to encourage male victims of domestic violence to "come out from the cloak of secrecy" and seek help.

Revealing details of the policy to The Advertiser yesterday, Opposition families and communities spokeswoman Isobel Redmond said she believed affirmative action to improve the rights of women had "done the job that it's meant to do".

"Do I think women are still downtrodden? No," she said. "I think women today have as much opportunity as any male and in fact what we are doing at the moment is the sting in the tail.

"When we get to the point where a female is getting the job because she's female and not the best person, I think that is demeaning for the female and unfair to the male. We should be gender-neutral".

Liberal Leader Rob Kerin said there were growing areas in which men fared "significantly worse" than women, including health and education.

"Without wanting to turn the clock back to the unfairness of days gone by when women lacked equality, it is time to recognise and address areas in which males are falling behind," he said.

Opposition education spokeswoman Vickie Chapman said the boys-only classes would not require extra teachers and would be introduced into schools where student numbers permitted. They would be for such "core" subjects as English, maths and science.

Ms Chapman said a school with three Year 10 classes, for example, could have one boys-only class and two mixed classes.

"At the moment, we are providing a generic curriculum and . . . there are aspects that are clearly more interesting to boys," Ms Chapman said. "We (also) want to trial a change of school timetable to include more activity breaks in the boys-only classes."

Education Minister Jane Lomax-Smith said the boys-only classes proposal, could increase class sizes.

"The reality is that high schools do not have even numbers of boys and girls in each year level," she said.

"The Opposition spokesperson needs to explain how this half-baked and ill-conceived idea would work in SA schools with no extra teachers. This is just a ploy by the Liberals to take local control from schools and impose political ideology in the classroom.

"Labor's approach is to invest in more teachers, smaller class sizes and support for the individual needs of each child, irrespective of their gender."

Families and Communities Minister Jay Weatherill ridiculed the policy.

"It's a really destructive way of handling a public policy debate to set up a conflict between men and women and it really demonstrates a desperation in the Opposition," he said.

 

http://www.theadvertiser.news.com.au/sectionindex2/0,5935,editorialopinion%255E%255ETEXT,00.html
_____________________________________________________________________________

 

EDITORIAL OPINION

Liberals touch a gender nerve

FOR perhaps the first time in the run-up to the March 18 state election, the Liberals have taken a risk.

Their plan to create special boys' classes - financed by reducing funds to women's support groups - defies the perceived demands of gender equality.

The reality, however, is that in the past decade, female students have been outperforming boys.

Girls have demonstrated superior academic and social skills and a greater capacity to succeed in tertiary education and the workforce.

The Liberals also believe boys are more reluctant to speak openly, for example by reporting incidents of domestic violence.

The Liberals are not arguing for increased affirmative action for boys as much as an overall reduction in targeted programs so that all young people are treated equally.

The policy is certain to attract the anger of women's groups, particularly if funding is redirected.

But it also will generate community debate and force the Government to consider its current leaning towards affirmative action for women.

 

For more information on these exciting developments please contact:

Greg Andresen

Committee Member, Men's Information and Support Centre

Torrens Building, 220 Victoria Square, Adelaide SA 5000

Tel: 08 8212 0331

Mobile: 0403 813 925

Fax: 08 8231 1752

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

FEDS TURN EYE TO HEALTHY MARRIAGES

USA Today

February 2, 2006

By Sharon Jayson

 

Congress approved a $750 million, five-year plan aimed at building healthier marriages Wednesday as part of its deficit reduction bill.

 

The measure now goes to President Bush. It includes $100 million a year for marriage-related programs and $50 million a year for fatherhood programs. This is the first time Congress has earmarked money for marriage programs, says Ron Haskins of the Brookings Institution's Center on Children and Families.

 

Federal grants to local groups will fund programs such as communication and relationship skills training or community-wide activities for high schoolers. Bush has backed marriage-strengthening efforts, citing research that children from two-parent families are better off emotionally, socially and economically.

 

"Ultimately, the outcome we're interested in is not more marriages but more healthy and stable marriages," says Wade Horn, an assistant secretary for Children and Families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

 

Researcher and marriage author Stephanie Coontz of Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., says marriage-education programs are successful in "weeding out" couples who shouldn't marry but can't solve all the problems low-income couples face.

 

"There is a lot of wishful thinking going on if you just do this and ignore other issues impacting marriage and parenting," she says.

 

But Diane Sollee, founder of SmartMarriages.com, says more programs will help. "People are going to learn behaviors that predict marital success," she says. "They're not funding a matchmaking service."

www.smartmarriages.com

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Monthly ezine on men's health available

 

'emale' Men's Health and Wellbeing E Bulletin

Issue 37 February 2006   

 

Australia's largest free monthly men's health and wellbeing e bulletin 'emale' is produced by Greg Millan, Men's Health Consultant.    

 

Greg provides both professional training courses in best practice in men's health and  programs for men in the community that improve men's health and wellbeing.

 

The current month's issue is attached, if you would like to receive your own copy of 'emale' every month, simply send a return email asking to subscribe.

  

E gmillan@bigpond.net.au   M 0417 772 390    Postal PO Box 953 HAMILTON NSW AUSTRALIA 2303 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

HAPPY MARRIAGE CAN MAKE YOU LOOK YOUNGER

United Press International

January 30, 2006

 

COPENHAGEN, Denmark, Jan 30, 2006 (UPI via COMTEX) -- Danish researchers say a happy marriage and plenty of money can take years off of a person's appearance.

 

The study, conducted by the University of Southern Demark, found that a married woman with a high social status, who has not spent a lot of time in the sun, could look at least seven years younger than a woman who is single, of a low social class and has spent excessive time soaking up harmful rays, the Daily Mail reported.

 

A happy marriage can make a woman look almost two years younger by the time she reaches middle age. Marital harmony can make men, in turn, look up to a year younger.

 

Heavy drinking was found to put a year on the faces of both sexes along with chronic asthma, diabetes and regularly taking painkillers.

 

Over-exposure to the sun was seen to add 1.3 years to a woman's perceived age while depression made women look 3.9 years older and men 2.4 years older.

 

Perhaps surprisingly, smoking 20 cigarettes a day for 20 years was found to add only a year of extra wrinkles to men and half that to women.

_________________________________________________________
 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

The following was a sign shown on Channel 9 One Day Cricket coverage from the game played at Perth on Sunday,

 

Cost to get to Ground - $15

Admission to the game - $58

Being at the cricket with my Dad - Priceless

 

Regards

Merv Langford

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

 

 

 

Dear God

 

 

When will we ever learn?

We are spending hundreds of millions of dollars

to shore up a corrupt family law system,

when we should be spending hundreds of
millions of dollars

to support healthy marriages,

to stop them falling into the war zone in the first place.

When wars start, they are very hard to stop.

 

Dear God

Help us come to our senses,

and at the very least provide justice for our children.

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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